deductive reasoning

Clearly I must hate the weekends.

I've always got some freaking sob story come Sunday about what happened. Today I got hit in the head by a fan and promptly decided that suicide would be the way to show that fan what for.

Luckily shortly thereafter I realize that not only is that stupid, but that only after being hit in the head with a fan would I make such poorly reasoned decisions.

So, it appears I will live through another week.

unless there are other fans that are in on this conspiracy.