little fish still bite

E asked me to stop by his restaurant to lone me a book. He encouraged me to stay and talk to him. I lasted an hour. He found time in there to tell me he's 'sorta dating' someone. Luckily, I found out after that someone thinks this girl is a tool. That was infinitely comforting. I hope they are tools together.

I don't care that he's dating someone (who's a tool.) Because if he were dating an Angelina Jolie upgrade I would be very upset. I do care that he got to fucking spring it on me, and that he got to see me react. What an undeserving shit. What I care about is that he got to see me vulnerable yet again. He has no right. It's sad I ever let him. Oh well.

The devil on my shoulder wants to write him an email telling him what an egomanical asshat he is. He knew better. The way that it came up was very thinly veiled. The thing about having an ex with the emotional maturity of a toddler is that you always have to be the bigger person, which becomes tiresome, but the alternative is no alternative at all.

I miss being loved so much (and did especially in the 9 months I was dating E, I think then I missed it most of all.)