Reply hazy, try again.

Well, last night I went to dinner with an old friend of T. He is 40 has 3 kids was married at 22 and ripe with advice on how I should throw in the towel. Actually, I don't think I have ever gotten the advice to 'stick it out' or 'you don't want to always wonder what if' about this matter. Plenty of times I have been given the 'stick it out' or 'you don't want to always wonder what if' about acting. Acting, which never loved me back vs. T who has never faltered in his love (though he has definitely acted like an asshole). People are so strange about relationships. I feel like I can't date no matter what anyone suggests I get over until I can imagine the possibility of loving someone else. I don't know if that will ever happen.

I am aware that sounds dramatic as hell.

However, I feel it would be wrong to start dating someone when I feel incapable of really loving them. I haven't been sexually attracted to anyone enough to force it or pretend I could love them since E--and we all know that was a disaster.

That is all. It was on my mind and I have a million things to do. Luckily I have a temp today--I'm totally pumped!!!