Memory play
Happy Notice Day! My final day at lousy old job will be Oct 14th. Last year, October 14th was particularly memorable. It was the day I signed the papers to go permanent after temping since the middle of July. I called T to tell him. He told me to go ahead, that there was no issue. T and I had been in ‘relationship divorce’ proceedings since May, and for whatever reason, signing on as a real worker at lousy old job felt like the end. In my mind, it was a huge event and a finale for any possibility of T and I working out. Lousy old job was a line in the sand: I am committed to NYC even though you’ll never come here.
So, October 14th of 2004 I called T and cried. It was a very horrible day for me and I remember getting in my pajamas at 11pm just to sleep it away. I got a call from E at midnight and that was when our relationship really began.
E and I had been flirting for several weeks, but he had a girlfriend, so the safety was always on. I think that fact actually lead us to flirt more than if there had been an open possibility of us dating. I remember saying things in those flirty weeks like, “I will make him mine” and using a 1-10 number scale for how likely it was for us to sleep together. I was on the hunt. The night of the 14th (a Thursday) he called to invite me to a bar where he was meeting his roommate and other friends. I jumped out of bed, pt on something hot (but not too hot) and did my make-up.
I met him at the door to my building, as the restaurant where he was working was only a few blocks away. We got in a cab and headed to the West Village. It seemed to me something was different on that ride. I couldn’t put my finger on it, but the energy had gone from silly to dangerous, and all I knew was it was very exciting.
When we got to the bar I bought us shots so we could ‘catch-up’ with E’s friends who had been there awhile. We sat at a large table listening to whoever was playing on the open mic and chatting with the new people. After another drink or few, I leaned over the table and told E, “You are I are the same, I think. We are terrible flirts when the safety is on.” I smiled, he had been chatting with girls and I with the boys and we were both having fun. His reply was, “My girlfriend and I broke up.” I said, “You are coming home with me.”
There were other quips and other details throughout the night, but our fate had been sealed. When I got us a cab after last call, he didn’t object. It was hot and it only got better until it got worse. I still covet his body, and probably will for a lot longer. As for the non-sexual aspects of our relationship, they were a roller coaster. There was so much withholding (from both parties), so much fear, and also so much tenacity. It lasted 9 months after all. I miss the sex. Rumor has it he’s starting seeing someone else.
So, October 14th of 2004 I called T and cried. It was a very horrible day for me and I remember getting in my pajamas at 11pm just to sleep it away. I got a call from E at midnight and that was when our relationship really began.
E and I had been flirting for several weeks, but he had a girlfriend, so the safety was always on. I think that fact actually lead us to flirt more than if there had been an open possibility of us dating. I remember saying things in those flirty weeks like, “I will make him mine” and using a 1-10 number scale for how likely it was for us to sleep together. I was on the hunt. The night of the 14th (a Thursday) he called to invite me to a bar where he was meeting his roommate and other friends. I jumped out of bed, pt on something hot (but not too hot) and did my make-up.
I met him at the door to my building, as the restaurant where he was working was only a few blocks away. We got in a cab and headed to the West Village. It seemed to me something was different on that ride. I couldn’t put my finger on it, but the energy had gone from silly to dangerous, and all I knew was it was very exciting.
When we got to the bar I bought us shots so we could ‘catch-up’ with E’s friends who had been there awhile. We sat at a large table listening to whoever was playing on the open mic and chatting with the new people. After another drink or few, I leaned over the table and told E, “You are I are the same, I think. We are terrible flirts when the safety is on.” I smiled, he had been chatting with girls and I with the boys and we were both having fun. His reply was, “My girlfriend and I broke up.” I said, “You are coming home with me.”
There were other quips and other details throughout the night, but our fate had been sealed. When I got us a cab after last call, he didn’t object. It was hot and it only got better until it got worse. I still covet his body, and probably will for a lot longer. As for the non-sexual aspects of our relationship, they were a roller coaster. There was so much withholding (from both parties), so much fear, and also so much tenacity. It lasted 9 months after all. I miss the sex. Rumor has it he’s starting seeing someone else.
posted by yb at
10:53 AM
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