Cusp This!

Sunday, February 19, 2006

pre-planning

At 2:30 am guess who calls? St. Matthew (my roommate) and I had just polished off a pint of Ben & Jerry's Coffee Heath Bar Crunch and had begun our 3rd Sex and the City season 4 episode (yes, he is the best fucking roommate in the world), and my phone rings. I was hoping it would be Mr. Aspirer. Nope, it was E.

"Oh, hi." He revealed he had had enough wine to call me. Big surprise, E, please, divulge more shocking facts. The conversation halted on as St. Matthew passed me notes: He Sucks, Wow, you almost sound interested, I am so glad I am not you right now. Then in a coup d'etat, St. Matthew shouted out upon giving up and heading to bed, "Good night, blondie" then soto voce, "Good night, douchebag" and I could not help but laugh a doubled over belly laugh. "What did he say?" asked E, and I told him. I thought of trying to lie, but a) I wasn't quick enough and b) I didn't care. It was very fulfilling.

He told me about what he's been up to and asked about work. He finally said that he wanted to extend the olive branch since the last time I saw him I told him I never wanted to speak to him again. "Yes, I was very mad at you." "I know, why?" This is where my pre-planning post of several days back became important. "You lied to me and that's a shitty thing to do to a friend." In beautiful douchbag fashion he said (paraphrased) "Did I lie to you or just omit details? (a pause where I hope he can hear his own idiocy) Because I don't remember lying to you."

In death as in life (of our relationship) who I imagine(d) E to be is so much better than who he really is.

At any rate, I feel like a winner. I am confident in how I navigated the conversation, though as always my revisions have more oomph than my first draft. I made it: he was contrite, I was not won over. I am ready Mr. Aspirer, give me a call.

2 Comments:

  • Does he just not get it? I hate boys. And I mean boys, because this guy doesn't sound like a man at alll yet. Have you decided to remain friends with him?

    By Blogger OutInLeftField, at 10:47 PM  

  • YAY!

    God...do you think he & my ex, Mr. 3.5 Inches share genes?

    By Blogger NewYorkMoments, at 1:19 AM  

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