Cusp This!

Thursday, September 08, 2005

Careful what you wish for...

Well, an interesting email has finally cropped up in E's account. It's from a woman who I once got fucking smashed with when she visited New York. She also proceeded to sleep with my friend JR, though I didn't know about that until later. She was just checking in, saying hi, but she did mention an attempt at reconciliation with her husband. She wanted to thank E for his advice that 'men love strong women, but neediness is not attractive.'

At least this isn't new information: E told me to my face that he found me needy. I pretty much despise him. I do not think of myself as needy. Of course, everyone has different levels of what is considered acceptable or not. What I considered kindnesses he considered 'needy.' I hope no one ever makes him cookies again, as long as he lives, that heartless fuck.

Isn't it shocking how long it takes to get over someone? I happened upon my journal from when T and I broke up. You bastards have no idea how lucky you are that was pre-blog. Let's just say my world view was shattered and I always noticed the third rail. With E, I'm just angry. Angry for being under-valued and misunderstood. Another memorable journal entry I came across, "sometimes I wish I loved E, but that's like wishing to be stupid." Exactly.

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