Cusp This!

Friday, March 10, 2006

Hesitate

Well, I hesitate to mention this because I feel like we've known about global warming so long that it's hardly news, but it looks like T is being forced to quit his job. Really, finally after 7 years at a position he has basically despised for 6, the end is here. I can't help but think it's a good thing, except that he seems to have decided to move to Germany. Yeah, how's that for fear of commitment? If one does not have a job as an excuse to not be together, an ocean makes a great excuse.

I have a fabulous idea: move to a country where I know no one, do not speak the language, do not have the right to work and find a new job. Yep, sounds totally rational. Why would one move to New York in such a situation? Why move to one of the most international cities in the world where the woman who I say I love lives and has an apartment and people speak English, where I can get on a plane and after a 2 hour flight see my family? That would just be silly.

There is nothing one can do when facing insanity. One cannot reason with it, one must simply let it run its course. Some would argue one must move on and throw away foolish hope.

2 Comments:

  • Hi, I have been reading your blog for awhile and now I find myself commenting. I had/have the same situation. Posibly the only person I have ever truly loved. We have been in and out of each others lives for 10 years. There was a time that I would have given up everything for him. I finally figured out that he only lived for himself and as much as he loved me he was too self absorbed to be with anyone. Once I saw this it set me free. Now dont get me wrong , I still love him, and talk to him close to daily and he is my best friend, the only one who knows everything about me, bad and good. I have only realized that I would always be last in his life behind his creativity , his writing , his music and the list goes on. I once told "M" that one day he was going to wake up an old man with noone by his side. His choice, not mine and I refuse to wait for someone that cannot see the forest through the trees. I hope this helps in some small way.

    By Blogger Tara's World, at 7:55 AM  

  • hi Tara!
    I hear you. It's just, as you clearly know, hard to give up/wake up. I have moments of clarity, or logic, or whatever, and then my little heart clings harder. I'm getting there though.
    Thanks for commenting :o)

    By Blogger yb, at 2:54 PM  

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